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 make your own kind of music. w/tommy

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Kai Flowers
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MessageSujet: make your own kind of music. w/tommy   Mar 15 Aoû - 22:03

kai's smile is not a match dropped in an oil spill. it could not make oceans catch fire. no, it's not the rose window of the attic of your heart. it's not facing east and bearing the sensation of the rising sun, bringing light to its glummest places. it's not the fresh air of may or the april downpour. it won't sweep away the tears or wash away the pain. because it's just real. there's no metaphor needed to feel its warmth, no wonder in the world to compare it with. it's simply there. filled with straight teeth (he had his braces removed six months ago) and brutal honesty. it couldn't cure cancer but you can see it tries its hardest. that's the way it's poignant. it's raw and truthful. it says 'i'm a nice boy with a heap of flowers in my curls'. that's the smile he has on when he sees that kid in the line of the record store. 'hey! tommy, right ?' he takes his right hand out of his short summer shorts pocket and offers his knuckles to bump.
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MessageSujet: Re: make your own kind of music. w/tommy   Mar 15 Aoû - 22:58

His nervous fingers walk on the side of an old disc, he's busy wondering whether or not his dad will like it. it’s such a waste since his father won’t be home (not yet) - and a song will not change anything to it. - Tommy’s a disturbed kid with a disturbed taste in music, whenever the lyrics hit right he is sure to be listening to it on replay - same way his smile hits the same button. A smile which does not fade by the way but takes a shade darker each year passing by; not only is he a shy element in the entire system, he is a messy human fracture in the atmosphere, not weighing much. 
In such a blurry existence he has not been put at use many times, he has not met much people, not held enough hands, not lingered for a sensation at all, or was it the feeling of her mom keeping him between her loving arms ?-
 'uh !' he jumps, the other creature is coyote flowers, sixteen years old of lively fantasies and a fairness  like no other. he’s a flush of energy in the dead of Tommy’s nights, he’s a stranger however and thus, only us should know for now.  ‘yeah, Tommy. i mean, I’m Tommy. You’re… you’re Gabe or Kain i’m not sure.
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MessageSujet: Re: make your own kind of music. w/tommy   Mar 15 Aoû - 23:50

a laugh is set free. the first of a long series it seems. in an alternate universe, kai would be a disembodied throat constantly vibrating with the chuckling and giggling, expressions of its glee. but right here, right now, he's just a kid who thinks that everything's funny. a kid with high white socks and yellow vans, oversize sweater (though everything's too big for him anyways) and daisies in his hair like tiny eyes all staring in different directions. one would think 'oh it's just one of his flights of fancy'. because no one really knows what kai's all about. he's got that radiant mind that's up for anything and works too fast. one minute he'd be here rocking a flower crown, next minute he'd be tap dancing to the beat of a song with savoir-faire. you just never know and that's part of the magic. but there's something that's always the same : 'my name's coyote, but please call me kai. ((here's the laugh again)) and this... (he puts the album he wants to purchase between his kinda hairy legs and takes tommy's free hand, turns it into a fist and) ...goes there.' they bump knuckles. there's something about the gesture that looks fragile. a baby bird's awakening.
  
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MessageSujet: Re: make your own kind of music. w/tommy   Mer 16 Aoû - 2:04


‘right, kai.’ his face lights up a bit, he’s kind of a darth vador when isolated which means he needs a few minutes to readjust to a normal form of socialization. there is a bit of a shock happening inside him each time somebody makes a move towards his face but Tommy isn’t a first timer so it’s alright.
not too bad, not chaotic anyway, Tommy follows both of their hands with curious eyes, they roll and find themselves being caught by the boy in the brightest pieces of clothing he has ever seen.
kai appears to be one of these characters on tv you know you’re going to like yet will shut up about at the beginning for they - in a mandatory way - will be criticised, either the colour of their skin or the shape of their eyes but one will be the reason why you shouldn’t appreciate them for they aren't loyal enough to the motherfucking adaptation. what is striking is how kai’s voice softens Tommy’s, he’s barely shaking from the interaction, as if it were alright for once, he’ll survive to the trance of the first encounter. ‘you’re on the basketball team, aren’t ya ?’
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MessageSujet: Re: make your own kind of music. w/tommy   Mer 16 Aoû - 3:40

(((yet another laugh))). the tenderness is killing him. there is something so sweet and innocent about the boy. but there's also a feeling of contradiction. in front of him, there's a teen lost in the universe or a universe lost in a teen. kai can't decide which one it is. but he sure thinks that tommy's out of this world. he's a moon softly glowing and coyote's just another comet. an unexpected shooting star. he takes back the album between his legs, some old hip hop tunes he'd like to dance on. 'well hum, i know i struggle growing facial hair but last time i checked i was still a boy.' he puts his right hand back in his pocket and his smile sharpens on the edges. it's true their high school team's all girls. 'but i do play on galsden heights court with some friends!' kai doesn't recall seeing him there tho. 'do you like basketball ?' once you've mentioned it, you can't escape a kai that's overly passionate.
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MessageSujet: Re: make your own kind of music. w/tommy   Mer 16 Aoû - 13:49

poor kid, two years in this pit of hell and he still didn’t know his team was a girls team. ouch, what a blast - come and spend time with Tommy the unexpected ghost lacrosse player. Tommy Ivanhoe ? Tommy who ? never heard of him !
he turns into a ball of nervousness, slowly drifting from his initial position, causing himself trouble by trying to find a better one. on the ground of life the boy isn’t a great magician whose hands turn anything into gold, he'd rather be the sloppy left hand of the apprentice and spells wouldn’t get him out of the embarrassment he's going through right now. ‘sorry i just saw you and thought wow you totally look like a basketball player.’
Tommy’s smile, the half moon in the middle of the day, not quite real, not exactly fake. ‘and please don’t tell anyone at school i’m not as concerned by club as i seem to be. i’m kinda out of the tracks at the moment.’
his smirk is a poor version of the lost teen on the verge of sobbing out of despair, but the sun Kai is surely makes it harder to pull back and run away - like the weirdo he is. - Kai is an indie song dropped in a strange mixture of pop and funky tunes left behind along the way. ’well i do watch it when it comes on tv but my dad’s the specialist, i’m kinda the average sporty dude, and a mess on field. oh- i play lacrosse !'
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MessageSujet: Re: make your own kind of music. w/tommy   Sam 19 Aoû - 0:31

all this time, kai thought tommy was a quiet kid. he always saw him at school like he wasn't meant to be there, like he wasn't a part of this. like he was made for something else, something that implied to vanish into thin air, something that wasn't for corporeal matters. kai wonders why he's seen this guy fading into the school or the school fading into him, why he's always seen not a boy but a ghost while right now, in front of him, he's there, so very alive, with colors peeking on his cheeks and his mouth overflowing with words. for a second, kai considers the fact that it's the first time he hears his voice that much, the first time he's so close to him and how delicate and insubstantial he still looks from here. and he plays lacrosse, on top of that. a sport that requires, like a lot of other field sports, a strong bone structure and he just seems to have brittle bones. he just seems to be made of glass. of paper. but that's what renders the guy so mysterious. it's because you see him like that, but he's also so different from that and kai's curiosity is pleased to know there's more to him than he thought. the corners of his smile slide upwards as he says : 'ah come on modesty, i bet you're really good. i've never been to a lacrosse game EVER, i just don't like to sit and watch others play, i like to be the one that plays. but lacrosse, man, i don't know. what's there to this sport you like so much ?'

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MessageSujet: Re: make your own kind of music. w/tommy   Sam 19 Aoû - 23:12

‘well i don’t spend the whole game sitting on the bench, so.' such a messy kid, mess of a hair, mess of a mind, mess of a soul. he wouldn’t go though. time is a strange mass of nonsense when spent with someone and Tommy doesn’t see it passes as fast as it should (usually) when the contact drops a thousand anxieties at the same time. the boy struggles when it comes to expressing himself and Kai is a snow covered hill which he must lay eyes on to see beneath the surface. it is indeed a real challenge for him but the sensation of finding a new way in a winter land is worth the risk. and he is willing to take it. ‘to be honest i’m not into sports that much. i’m an awkward dude who loves listening to good music. my dad wanted me on the field that’s why i applied. i know it’s not cool but- uh sorry i’m talkative as shit i just- i mean it’s not that i don’t want to talk with you i do but. oh god. -' the cds he keeps in his hands are shaking as if Earth had been moved by him and his incapacity to satisfy his own purpose, the opacity of his mind strengthens - sometimes it drowns the boy with the golden hair and the shaky mind when Kai is another planet to discover, to explore even, Tommy doesn’t have the guts to take his spaceship and fly his way to him. - ‘i think you’re cool.’
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MessageSujet: Re: make your own kind of music. w/tommy   Mar 22 Aoû - 16:20

cool. that's a word kai has heard more than often. it means something really important for youngsters. when you're cool,you're not going to be picked on for whatever reasons. when you're cool, you're going to survive high school. you can eventually be crowned prom king. when you're cool, you have friends and these are the things most teenagers are worried about. reputation. image. who likes you, who doesn't ? why they do, why they don't ? kai, like these kids, has always been wondering what the others thought of him. is he just that loud guy with the freckles and the laugh ? is he just the clown who puts a smile on everybody's face ? isn't he more than that ? people say he's cool because of that, because he's got that kind of bro vibe coming out of him, he seems so nice yet so mischievous, he looks fun and entertaining. but once you got rid of those layers that read cool, what's there left ? is there anything people know about him beyond that characther they see at school ? 'hey, chill. i think you're pretty cool too.' his free hand meets the guy's shoulder then leaves it. what kind of music do you like then, what are you buying ?

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MessageSujet: Re: make your own kind of music. w/tommy   Mer 23 Aoû - 11:54

‘uh, idk i was thinking i could use some Drake though I’ve been stuck on Blackbear’s eps lately’ he chuckles, the cool kids aren’t so hard to find in the ocean of humanity, somehow he knows it, he just got to try, but the less he knows the better, the less he gets involved in people’s lives the better. even if his waters run deep beneath his eyes, silence still is overwhelming, he feels like he is an open book, ready to be looked into. his emotions always end up drawn on his face, as if he had no other choice; exposing his vulnerability to the whole wide world. ‘actually i listen to a bunch of stuff and it’s pretty random you know ? like i start chilling on youtube and by the end of the day i have a playlist full of recommendations. lately i’ve been stuck on thirteen reasons why’s soundtrack. not the best show but-‘ talking too much, again. ‘i mean they picked good songs. and i spend a lot of hours sobbing over soundtracks’ a smile appears out of nowhere on his face, his cheeks redden, he wonders what he's doing here but Kai’s company is more than welcome on such troubled days. ‘and i am kind of trying to get away from shitty thoughts.’
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MessageSujet: Re: make your own kind of music. w/tommy   Mar 29 Aoû - 0:59

his eyes open wider when drake's name's mentionned. and blackbear's eps are sure in his playlist too so he's kinda happy to know the guy has quite the same taste. and when he starts to talk about how he could listen to anything, kai can totally relate to that. except for the "thirteen reasons why" part,  since he didn't really watch the show at all. actually, he's seen the first episode and didn't really like it, but that's a matter of personal judgment. however, he's seen some songs used as soundtracks to the show and he knew some and could understand why someone would love listening to them on repeat. especially someone who's feeling bad for most aren't meant to be gleeful. that's the kind of person tommy really is, underneath that smile he's showing. he states it, truthfully. he's having shitty thoughts and kai's never had them. he's been angry, he's been angrier, he's been happy, he's been happier, he's been worried and more worried, he's been anxious and more anxious. lost and more lost. but he's never truly felt sad, nor depressed. so he doesn't know how to deal with these feelings. with these thoughts. 'you'll find a way.' he simply says. 'you'll find a way to escape 'em and be happy again, if that's what's up. if that's what's bugging you so much.' easier said than done. so he smiles, faintly (no, gently). 'we  should hang someday, we coud figure out a way to get rid of your shitty thoughts on the court, what about that ? - that's where i go when i'm mad.' playing basketball 'till the anger's gone.

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dsl si jmets 100 ans à rep)
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